It's been a very interesting study in human nature for me in some ways, and caused me to be introspective as some points. Tonight concluded the last "story" that needed to be told to the class. Basically, 3 students per class period had to tell a story about someone who mimics their beliefs or tell a story about someone that would impart a moral to the audience. I decided to do a little exercise on first impressions and described three different people based on what they did in the morning, what they wore to work, and where they lived. I gave the class four options for the people's occupations. I only described three people. The options were professor, engineer, fulbright scholar, and grandpa. Grandpa was the dummy answer, but most people thought the person I was describing was my grandpa when he was really an engineer, professor, AND Fulbright Scholar. The moral: don't judge a book by it's cover.
I was quite proud of the example. But, imagine my surprise when about half of my classmates began to cry when they told their stories. Before going on, I have to tell you that crying is one of my least favorite activities and is something I see as a sign of weakness. It's a harsh reality of mine, and something I once talked to a counselor about. Apparently my views on weakness came from playing football as a child. It makes sense, if you go into it (but I don't feel like going into, not the point of the story). I really don't like to cry in public, which apparently somehow makes me stronger than others. I'm not sure why that is, I think it's a masculine preconception, which would explain the football reference.
In my mind, the assignment was to impart a moral in three minutes or less (oh, and let me tell you they sure did not meet the time limit and greatly exceeded it).
I suppose my view on weakness, is one of my greatest weaknesses, because really - what's wrong with crying? I couldn't tell you, really. Maybe it makes them stronger than me, being able to let the world see that side of them. I would never dare to do that, if I could help it.
When I felt the situation was inappropriate to cry in (i.e. during a story where you could have consciously chosen to talk about something else), I was repulsed by it, as I did in class those few times. This is where introspection and study of human nature comes into play. Tonight, one of the women told a story about a close friend who had many horrible things happen in her life but always kept a smile on her face (was a counselor on a reservation, divorcee, son committed suicide in front of her, was committed to the hospital for colon cancer and her new husband died two weeks later, then her mother had a heart attack. She passed soon after that.) A very moving story, and surely one that speaks to resilience and the ultimate optimism we are capable of. I would hope to be that positive one day. My classmate choked through the whole thing.
I just have to consider that sense of "Oh geez, why is she crying? That's gross," that I immediately felt as a reaction, which brings me back to another part of class where I was reminded of a quote that truly resonates with me. "Above all else, to thine own self be true." And this is where I reaffirm my belief that judgement based off of things such as crying in public are not for me to worry about. Or, more simply, for me to pass judgement is not necessary nor noteworthy. My classmate was to thoust own heart being true. Pardon that horrible reference. But seriously, who am I to make any judgement on her for that? I apologize to any I have offended about the crying thing. Don't take it personal, I don't take notes on who cries in public. This was just such an odd situation for me.
Like my uncle says, these are just thoughts while shaving...
