Thoughts on Life

Hello, blog makeover. Not sure if I like it. It'll probably change from when I post this. So, woo. Anyway, life is pretty good right now. I just got back from a week-long trip to Iowa. I was supervisor/chaperone/van driver to some theater students who were competing for a chance to go on to the next level. It was a pretty big deal, and pretty cool to see what their world is like. Everyone was cool, some were my age, and I think very appreciative to have someone there who would sing along in the car and blast the music, and make sure they got where they needed to go. It was nice to meet people my age. Made a few friends.

I interviewed for a job at the Olive Garden as a hostess. Let them know I wanted to be a server even though I had no experience and they were excited about that. I would get training and to taste all of the dishes/wines. Bonus! Ha. I've always wanted to be a waitress to see if I could do it, and do it well. The woman said she'd call back tomorrow about a second interview. It seemed like she liked me. When people hear that I'm looking for another job, they are very helpful and have all kinds of suggestions. And they're helpful. My professor wants me to ask a woman who is in the Director of Marketing at a local hospital if she's looking for anyone. She is in my class. But, right now I don't want to do that kind of work. I know that I should for the experience, but I just don't want to do it. Is that lazy? I don't think so, and I don't think there is an underlying reason for me not wanting to do it other than that I'm not sure I want to be pushed into this field. All experience is good, but I just am not feeling it right now.

I've always wanted to try being a waitress. I was excited about it. I know I'll stress out, but I can handle it.

My professor today told me that I need to stop working so hard. I bet that made you laugh. But, it's really frustrating to me. I've always had to work hard to be good at what I do. In athletics I had to practice and practice and practice to be as good as I was. In class, I pulled awesome grades but I had to really work at it. Anything I've earned, any recognition I've earned is because I have put my mind to it and worked hard.
Her idea is right. She wants me to be able to write my ideas clearly and quickly. I shouldn't have to take 20 hours to write a 5-page paper. That doesn't fly in the working world. If I didn't have that amount of time available to me to write it, I don't think it would take as long. But, it seems so hard to me to not put all of my effort into doing well at something if I have the time to. She said to go work out or read when I feel like writing and to give myself a time limit. I hate the idea of it. I usually hate change. I usually deal with it. I think this must bother me because it means I'm not good at something. I'm not good at putting my thoughts into writing so that others can understand. A good business professional can.

I also think I hate it because I have a horrible addiction to always being busy. Being idle and unproductive is awful to me.

I know I'm whining, but that's what happens before big changes in my life. I really am a happy kid. Just venting a little of my frustration.

Here's to the New Year!

I haven't posted since I started my new job, so I suppose I should start there. I'm going to make it brief because I have other things to talk about!

I'm happy with the work I'm doing. It is definitely administrative, but I supervise two work-study students and get to talk to them about school and making decisions and developing a work ethic and I really enjoy that. Everyone in the department is nice and very grateful that I am there. I get to help track who we've met with and developed a list with over 3000 names on it for recruiting purposes (that sucked!) and got to coordinate Madrigal Tickets and tables (that was fun!). There really isn't much to report other than that.

I started coursework early because I needed to be able to put my loans into deferment/forebearance. I'm still struggling on that from and am currently trying to pay the interest that accrues during forebearance because I don't qualify for deferment for a few months. I need to find another job (yay!). No one said this would be easy, and it'll build a little character. I don't really anticipate it will be that hard, but I'll be busier than I'm used to. I've grown accustomed to waking up, working out, then going to work. I'll have to squeeze my workouts in at another time.

Anyway, on to the reason for this post.

I'm not really a believer in the New Year's Resolution kind of thing because I think that anything worth doing you should commit to for your own reasons. However, I am interested in creating a list of things that I want to accomplish this year so that I can look back on it and see how successful I was. So here it is.

Run 415 miles this year.
Sew together my T-shirt quilt.
Write 104 pages for my book.
Hit level 85 on World of Warcraft (this one may be a little lofty, and very nerdy).
Develop my ideal business idea into more than just a pipe dream.
Add $1000 to my savings.
Pay $1000 of my loans.
Make a few friends in the area.
Read 10 fiction books.
Find a better way to communicate with my family more regularly.

That's all I've got for now. Maybe I'll add to it as I go. Anyone else care to share some of what they'd like to accomplish this year?

Changes on the Horizon

I think my silence is probably indicative of my unhappiness. Today, I can tell all. Woop woop.

Last time I posted, I had just found out that my boss was resigning. That's one heck of a change. For awhile, I battled whether or not I should go too. I feel that the work I was doing was very valuable. But I don't think that the organization is really ready for that sort of thing. They need to do a lot of work developing strategy with intended outcomes. A lot of the work just seems like a fix to plug up the latest leak. People there were unhappy. We do great work, but none of that is present in the office.

I'm leaving. I have an opportunity to get my MBA while working as a graduate assistant in the Fine Arts department. I'm very excited about it. I'll help some with recruiting, and some with sort of administrative tasks. It's a minimum of 20 hours a work. I receive a stipend, a free education, more free time to help with softball, the ability to hold more than one job, and a little of my sanity back. It's a good trade off for me. I'll still be volunteering in the office for awhile, and definitely down at the Bowden. I've been teaching some of the kids how to read better. I'll have more flexible time to come in and help them too. :)

I wish I could help my work more. But, it's not really a healthy environment. I came home and complained all the time and had nothing to say. I didn't like that about myself and I think that that is one of the major reasons I decided to start looking elsewhere. Maybe I should suck it up and just keep on going, because it's only a year. But, to what end? To say that I did it? Yea, and what's that worth except a strain on my relationships and a mental problem?

Maybe I'm a little bitter, so I'm going to stop talking about it. I've been a lot happier since I made the decision and have heard nothing but wonderful things about people where I'm going to work, and I had good vibes during the interview.

I won't start coursework until January. New job starts next Monday.

Here goes nothing.

Just a little update.

Yup, it's been awhile. I think that if I told you all about what I do at work, you'd be bored to tears. I enjoy it. It gets pretty hectic and office politics are no good. I've got some changes coming on the horizon that'll really throw me off, but that I'm not sure I can really talk about quite yet. But, this year is going to get a bit challenging.

I was able to launch our facebook, but I'm not necessarily happy with it quite yet. I need to build more interest in it and make it more interactive (and to the point where people want to post on the site). I need to sit down and think about that a bit more, but I think it can happen, barring any major obstacles. But, obstacles just exist. I'm pretty frustrated about that because I have to wait on a lot of people to put my ideas together. And sometimes it's just too late, or kind of sloppy because the response took so long to create.

I've also been missing out on my time volunteering, I only got in once last week, which I don't like. I had to work late creating and printing invitations that had input from three different offices that was all conflicting. That was fun. Definitely comes with the turf though.

I'm just very happy I got the Labor Day weekend to help relax and I should be able to help start coaching this week, and that's exciting!

I'll update more when there's more exciting stuff going on, and things I know I can talk about!

Every Day is a New Adventure.

First, every time I title my blog I have a mental mind-freak about which words to capitalize. Irrelevant.

So, I didn't really report back on last week. It was a whirlwind. I'm keeping a log of all of the stuff I do (I started it today). But, I guess I've kind of done a lot in the past two weeks. Crazy. I got a hug and a "You're making a difference." on Thursday from my boss. That was pretty cool. I think that some people have jobs where they never hear anything like that. I feel pretty fortunate. The facebook site still hasn't launched and I'm working on how to handle that. I have a week to get through the upper-level and to try to get it live. I think that I have everything done, I just need the ok. There's lawyers and stuff that have to get involved and a whole social media plan/policy that needs to be written by my boss. Except, I've written one from an example we got from a business in the area. My boss kept saying she'd write it, but I think she's been pretty busy so I did it. I'm just a little too scared to tell her I went ahead and did it. But, she's been gone for a few days so I may just tell her. We'll see.

I've been working in InDesign, which I'm not a professional at but I'm decent. I can work it and do image design. I have a pre-defined color palette which makes things a lot easier. It's kind of fun to see what I can do with that. My work probably isn't all that interesting to talk about. I really enjoy doing it and the days aren't that long, but describing it is kind of boring. It won't be that exciting until I finally get to launch something and upkeep the sites.

Of course, volunteering is a highlight for me. The kids down at the Bowden are pretty good. Some are pretty tough, but they're warming up to me. One kid comes up to me and shows me the progress of his loose tooth each time he sees me. I love it. But, today I got thrown into street outreach (and no mom, not the kind of street outreach that is in the Cross and the switchblade). We just go down to the "banquet" where they serve two meals a day to those who need it. Our job as street outreach is to sit there and make contact with families that have kids from 8-21 years old (or just the kids those age that are there). I was nervous because I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I actually was pretty good at talking to people who weren't in the age range. Ha. I was working with someone though and when I get thrown to do it by myself that will be fun! Imagine, shy Liz doing this stuff. It's crazy.

The people there are really the ones that fit the stereotypical homeless idea. Dirty, holes in their cloth, etc. They all speak with you a little more than you would think. Of course, some people won't but some are fine with talking about where they are in life. Not to say they're happy with it, but they're not angry at people they talk to about it. One man was lamenting his stolen backpack that had everything he managed to gather up. He wondered that anyone who was homeless could steal from other people who were homeless. The first thought that popped into my head was they had the 'survival of the fittest' attitude but I managed to bite my tongue. Sometimes, I have to watch what I say because I find myself referring back to a home or asking about a mom or dad pretty naturally. But, you can't assume that sort of thing really. I've done ok, but I have to be pretty conscious of it.

Then after that I got back with the kids and played for an hour and royally messed up the kickball rules and the kids kept laughing at me and saying. "Liiiiiiiiiz" like I should know better. Woops. I'm still learning!

So all is well. I miss my family, but I'm doing well. Hope y'all are too!

Oh, and I got paid for my first week. $200, about $5 an hour. Woo. Doin' ok though.

Lessons Can Come in the Littlest Packages.

Although I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to enjoy myself this week, I was wrong. From my last post, you can gather that I am learning a lot about the programs and the people involved.

Surprisingly, I found myself looking up at the clock and being surprised that it was already 4 o'clock. As anticipated, I try to get the tasks I'm assigned all done on the the day they've been assigned to me, but that's just not going to be possible. I have to work at being able to understand that. My boss is overwhelmed, and I can see where she's coming from more. It's interesting to learn what her strengths are. Facebook, for example, is not one of them. I anticipate trying to get our facebook to go live, to be a very hard thing to do. Yay for that.

I've made friends in the office though, and that's awesome. I'm actually very surprised by how much I feel comfortable in this office as compared to the last one that I was in. I wonder why that is, and I have a feeling it's because it is predominantly mother-like women and I feel comfortable there. Silly, but true I think. The woman who has a cube adjoining mine and I have started to hang up signs so that the other has a nice message when they get in the office. That's pretty awesome.

I volunteer at the youth center too, and that's interesting. I'm really just in the 'get the kids to trust me' phase and have them know that I won't be there for a short period of time. Volunteering at a place like that is an actual committment but I really enjoy it. It sort of let's me forget my work day (if there were any frustrations) and focus on making sure these kids have a good time. I hope that some day they'll feel comfortable enough to let me know a little bit more about what is going on with them, and I feel like if I asked they would tell me. But, I feel like that's only because kids don't know any better, I'd rather work on a relationship with them than take for granted how well-intentioned they are.

I played basketball with the kids, and they were cool. I'm BAD! They asked me to play and I told 'em I would, but that I was bad (and I really was, the other two staff there had played). But, at the end of it, one of the kids was like "See, you're not bad!" It was so cute, and he's my favorite so far. I was watching him play pool the first day I was there and he was super friendly. What was most interesting to me though was that he was making sure his peers were using their manners. A lot of the time I'm there I make sure the kids say excuse me and thank you and all that cause they tend to just barrel through otherwise. But, this guy, we'll call him Ronnie, wouldn't move until asked nicely. Most of the kids were just aware of each other and would move out of the way or else be run in to. He demands respect and I really like it. Kids are so smart that way.

I'm excited for next week, and think this will be great. The only part I don't enjoy is getting up so early, but you can't win all the time, right?

Whelmed.

I'm pretty sure that isn't a word, but I think it describes me right now. Just not really sure which way to go, over or underwhelmed.

Yesterday was my first day and it didn't consist of much, just did training for awhile and then went to the marketing meeting. I was excited to go to that and even got to speak a little, but nor a whole lot happened.

Today, I went to training in the morning and skipped out on the second half to visit a program site. The particular site I went to houses young men who have been to jail and no long have a home to go to (not because their parents won't let them stay at home, but for other reasons.) The story behind this program is that the department of corrections visited some time ago and deemed it too dirty and unkempt to receive funding for the next year. They get a chance to clean it up and have the dpt. of corrections back on Monday. My boss and I went to the site to walk the tour with them and give any last minute critiques we thought might help.

Honestly, the place was about what I expected it to be. It used to be a prison and now boys lived there, who apparently didn't have much of a rigorous cleaning expectation. Tiles in the ceilings were broken, a door window was busted, a lot of the furniture looked like it might fall over. Carpets were dirty, etc. But here's where I run in to a problem. How much more can we expect out of a program that gets (I think) most of it's funding through grants and charity? I didn't agree with the way the place was run. The kids don't have room inspections and are allowed to leave their basketballs (their own property) out on the basketball court. I personally would take the basketballs until they earned it back, and I would do room inspections. They wouldn't take us into the restrooms. I feel like there should be a higher standard with the chores. So, do we blame the staff and cut the funding or do we not expect much from these programs and let them live the way they do? I don't know.

Also visited a place where developmentally disabled sexual offenders go to find work. The don't do anything too high up in the business world (paint rain barrels, do factory line-work, landscaping). I saw some things in there that let me have a little peek into what they think about and it was what you might imagine, and it was odd for me.

Oh yea, and we met with the development committee. Our company needs funding, just as any other does, but geez we're pushing hard. Hopefully I'll get to sit down tomorrow and actually be productive. We'll see.

I don't really know what to think about it all, I think time will tell.

Liz